Total Drama: Fans Vs Canons
by slicer37
Summary: A new island. The same hosts. And the contestants? Half new and half old. Total Drama: Fans vs Canons. Inspired by Agreenparrot and lightofthedawn


_A/N: Hey guys, this is my new series. This is my first time really writing TD, so I hope anyone who reads this enjoys it ^_^._

Rebirth Island was a young island, being discovered a mere 20 years ago, off the coast of eastern Canada. Despite its lack of history, it is a popular tourist attraction for those who can afford the steep fee, due to the unbelievable amount of different animals, landscape, and most importantly; hot springs that are said to bring youth.

But for the summer of 2013, it would not be open to rich tourists, or anyone not involved in the new season of the reality competition series Total Drama.

On the small dock of the island was an entire camera crew surrounding a short man with dotted eyes and black hair that looked full of gel. He gave a smile with his pearly white teeth.

"Welcome the brand new season of the Total Drama; Total drama fans vs canons!" He continued to walk along the dock.

"You see, when we did Total Drama Revenge of the island, our trusty fan observers noticed that about half the fanbase liked the new guys, and the other half wanted old people! Crazy right? As long as I'm on TV, why should they care? But…we want to keep the ratings up, so this season, we're doing half and half! Ten old contestants, ten new contestants, this is TOTAL DRAMA: FANS VS CANONS!"

Dramatic horns followed that line, being blown by some huffing-and-puffing interns.

But who were these returning players?

* * *

**(Boat 1: Alejandro and Heather)**

For a show as cheap as Total Drama, they wasted now expense picking lovely boats to take the contestants to their doom.

However, on this boat were two of the devious players in reality television history; and neither of them were exactly looking at the boat.

Then there came a few moments of grumbling and awkwardness among two teenagers who no one would ever expect to be awkward.

After a minute or two though, Alejandro conjured up a perfect yet forced smile, and walked over to Heather.

"Hello, Heather! Long time no see. After all, I don't recall seeing you after the time where you kicked me down a volcano after kissing me. Remember that? Because I do."

Heather, for her part, simply rolled her eyes. "Go away, Alejandro. I don't need your slime messing up my tan."

Alejandro simply smirked. "Of course, of course. Have it your way…except, of course, that we need to work together if we are going to survive past the first few rounds."

Heather looked at him and nodded. "Well, duh! We're huge targets, after all. But that doesn't mean I have to talk to you, or like you, _Al._

Alejandro flinched for a moment, but then simply shrugged. "Have it your way." He said before walking off.

Heather rolled her eyes after he left, and sighed.

* * *

**Confessional: **

**Alejandro: **I will admit it…it took me a while to get over what Heather did to me. She threw me down a volcano after kissing me! Even I'm not that ruthless…okay I am. Luckily, I was able to sue chrism for putting me in the machine, and I won, allowing me to pay for help. And it's all because of Heather…what a woman!

**Heather: ** So, I'm back for another round with these geeks and losers. And I have to admit…I've got a target under my back. Normally I love being the queen of the island, my rightful place, but I'm going to have to lay low this time and find someone to take the hits for me.

* * *

**(Noah and Brick) **

In contrast to the first boat making its way onto the island, the two people on the second boat had nothing in common, as one of them would tell you without hesitation. The most obvious example? Brick was doing pushups, while Noah was reading.

"98…99…100!" Brick shouted in triumph, before collapsing in relief. Noah rolled his eyes.

After a few minutes of wheezing on the floor, Brick got up and went over to Noah.

"Morning there, solider! I see you're sharpening the mind, excellent! Keep up the good work!"

Noah looked up from his book. "Um…okay? Good to know I have a future in the military." He then gave a mock salute.

Missing the sarcasm, Brick smiled even more widely. "At ease, private! I'll be looking forward to working with you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more exercise to do!"

He walked about two feet before collapsing again. Noah just shook his head.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Noah:** Great…another goofy guy that just wants everyone to be friends! Ugh. Yes, I got along with Owen, but I'm sick of these guys. Why can't I just be left alone to read in peace?

**Brick: **That Noah...he seemed a bit standoffish, but I'm sure he'll make a fine teammate. It's my goal this season to help everyone on my team collaborate and be victorious!

* * *

(**Jo and Tyler)**

Unlike the other two boats, the two people on this one started interacting as soon as they got on. Well, if you count landslide arm wrestling matches as interaction.

"Come on, one more time!" A panting Tyler asked his opponent.

She simply rolled her eyes. "Hey, failure jockstrap, this is the 98th match and you haven't won once, or even lasted more than 5 seconds."

Tyler actually looked offended. "Hey, what are you saying?"

Once again, Jo sighed. "I'm saying to give up before you break a wrist, failure jockstrap."

Despite her tone, Tyler smiled. "Hey…you do care! Thanks!"

Jo actually spluttered for a few seconds before glaring at Tyler. "Urrgh…listen. I don't care about you. I don't care about your feelings. But, I will NOT tolerate weakness on a team. So you better grow a new pair of balls, or get off the show. Got it?"

Tyler looked scared. "Umm…yeah. Pretty cool that we have such a take-charge girl here, by the way?"

Jo smirked and looked smug…before she heard the next part of the sentence.

"…You can tell that I'm a girl?"

Tyler looked confused. "Well, yeah. Of course, it's pretty obvious."

Jo almost smiled before repressing it. "Whatever, fail jockstrap."

* * *

**Confessional: **

**Jo: **Pfft, this is what they choose for jocks these days? That loser probably doesn't even know the rules of football, let alone how to play it well. There's no way I'm letting a weakling get the better of me again. This season, the strong will survive!

**Tyler: **Man, I'm pumped for this season! Ever since I got home from Total Drama World Tour, people have been telling me I'm not good at sports! Can you believe it? Crazy man. So this season, I'm going to be so athletic they have no choice but to say I'm badass!

* * *

**(Dawn and Eva)**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MY AURA IS GREY?" The fit European girl shouted at the blonde with the pale skin.

Dawn looked genuinely distressed. "I assure you, I meant no disrespect! I simply thought that telling your aura would calm down your temper!"

If anything, Eva simply looked angrier. "Let's get one thing straight, pasty…I DO NOT HAVE A TEMPER PROBLEM! ANYONE WHO SAYS THAT TO ME AGAIN IS DEAD, GOT IT?"

Then, as if to prove her point, she grabbed the boat's pool table and smashed it over her knee. It split cleanly into two.

Most people would be scared beyond measure at that, but Dawn was not most people.

Instead, she simply put her hand on the taller woman's shoulder. "Eva, you don't have to scream at me and break things. I know that your anger is actually a way to let out your anger at the kids that tried to pick on you when you were a kid."

Eva's jaw dropped for a few seconds, before she managed to regain herself. "How did you know that?"

Dawn shrugged. "By reading your aura, of course!"

Eva rolled her eyes. "Whatever, hippie. This isn't over!"

She then stomped off to the boat's gym, while Dawn just sighed.

**Confessional:**

**Eva: **Ugh…as much as I hate to admit it, my track record on total drama has not been the strongest. But that's all going to change! People have been telling me that I need to control my temper or some crap? Well, I disagree. I was thinking about it on a run, and what I need to do is align with a villain that won't care about what I do. Then I can backstab them and win the million!

**Dawn: **I do hope Eva wasn't too hurt by what I said; I don't want to hurt people. You know, I've recently realized that even back at home, I don't have a large amount of companions aside from my animal friends. I wonder why? I believe a large part of it is due to Scott last season; I certainly hope he's not on this season!

* * *

**(Scott and Dakota)**

It is highly doubtful that Scott knows what irony is, but Chris Mclean does, and he made sure to incorporate it into Dawn's confessional.

Currently, the ginger himself was "inspecting" his armpits with his nose, while a blonde was looking at him in disgust.

"Eww! That is like, so disgusting! Stop doing that, it's like gross!" Dakota whined at Scott.

He only chuckled. "That's some big words coming from the girl who turned into a freaking monster."

Dakota looked affronted. "Hey, take it easy! After Daddy paid for my surgery, I was back to normal in 6-8 weeks!"

Scott once again laughed. "6-8 weeks, huh? Well, after my Pappy found gold in his mine, I was back to normal in no time!"

For once, Dakota didn't look shocked. "At least my daddy's rich! You're poor as nails!"

Scott glared. "Take that back, Ms. Hilton!"

She gasped. "Oh, I am nothing like that fake rich girl! You take that back!"

Scott smirked. "Not until you recognize my strategic genius!"

Dakota looked thoughtful for a moment…before breaking into laughter.

"You? A strategic genius? Yeah, and my boyfriend Sam is muscular!"

"…You do realize you said that outloud, right?"

Dakota actually looked ashamed for a second. "Oh…sorry Sam!"

Scott gave a belly laugh. "Why are you saying sorry to your nerd boyfriend-OOF!"

Dakota had slapped him in the face, and they went into a childish slap fight.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Dakota:** That Scott is so eww! He gives me like, the creeps! I really don't know why I came back, but Sam said I would do well! I just hope I get positive spotlight this time! I don't really want to be some big player; that would get bad publicity. I'll just be a follower.

**Scott: **That blondie over there thinks she can stand up to me? Well, let me tell you something. I am the best player to EVER play Total Drama. When I tell someone to jump, they'll jump. I'll probably be able to tell the losers I'm playing against to vote themselves off, and they'll do it.

* * *

**(Rebirth Island)**

After many painful attempts to land the boats at the exact same time by Chris's exact directions, they finally get it right and the 10 canon characters stepped of the boats and unto the dark.

Heather, wearing her long heels, stumbled a little.

Alejandro held out his hand. "Heather, please let me help you."

Heather responded by pushing him out of the way and walking off. "Get away from me, skeez."

Brick ran off the boat, only to trip and fall flat on his face. Noah followed him off, stepping on him while keeping his nose in his book.

Tyler similarly fell over, landing in a similar position to Brick. Jo also stepped on Tyler the same way Noah stepped on Brick.

Then she looked at Noah. "We've got nothing in common, got it?"

"Crystal."

Eva stomped on the island, followed by a floating Dawn, who landed on the dock and then glared at Scott, who strutted off the dark with a grumbling Dakota behind him. Scott was sporting a black eye.

He glared at Dawn and Dakota back. "After my awesome strategy, they'll be the first ones leaving." He grumbled to himself.

Jo overheard him and rolled her eyes. "No one cares, failure villain."

Dawn nodded. "Yes, I wholeheartedly agree with Jo. Your devilish plots will not work this time, Scott!"

He spit on the dock in response.

Chris looked annoyed for a moment. "Hello, focus on ME please?"

The contestants ignored him and continued talking.

Chris looked annoyed. "I don't get it…what's wrong?"

Heather smirked. "The problem is, no one cares about you anymore, or is threatened by you."

Chris was shocked. "What do you mean? I'm the host with the most! Look at all my deadly challenges!"

Heather's smirk got larger. "Are you kidding? We know we're just going to survive this show by now. You're just a _desperate washed up old celebrity has been."_

"ARRGH!"

_(Commercial break) _

Chris once again stood in front of the camera, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"..Welcome back to Total Drama, where I finally got the contestants, even though none of them respect me…"

"I respect you, sir!" Brick announced.

Chris smirked. "See, you should all follow Brick's example. Now, your team name is…THE ROCKY RACCONS!"

Tyler pumped his fist. "Awesome name, man! Reminds me of that water polo summer camp I went once where I got kicked out!"

"Why am I not surprised…" Noah deadpanned.

Alejandro nodded at the team name. "I must admit, it's a lot better than my least team name," sharing glances with Tyler and Noah.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Alejandro**: I have to admit, this season might present more of a challenge than last time. I obviously have a huge target upon my back, and having two of my victims from Total Drama World tour does not help. But, I'm not scared. My aunt was an escape artist; if anyone can do this, it's me. I just need a pawn, preferably someone who doesn't know me to well.

**Dakota: **Like I said, I'm not here to play this game. I'm just here to follow a hot guy around; then I'll get famous again! No offense Sam…

**Dawn: **Am I disappointed that Scott is here? Yes. Will I let it bother me? No. Rebirth island is a beautiful place, and I intend to enjoy every minute I am out here.

**Tyler: **Okay, I admit I'm not the most agile, or coordinated, but I can still be an athlete out here! This is my season to ROCK!

* * *

Chris tossed something to them, but no one caught it and it fell on the floor.

Dakota looked at it and shivered. "What's that dirty old rag?"

Chris gave another Emmy smile. "That is your map to your campsite. The other team will be arriving shortly, and since your campsite is a bit farther, I'll give you a head start. Whoever finds there camp first wins the challenge! And it starts…NOW!

He then drove away on a motorboat, laughing.

The other contestants stood in surprise for a moment, before they started talking.

"Hey, what's our first step?" Tyler asked.

Brick raised his hand, waiting to be called on.

Everyone looked at him strangely, before Jo sighed and said, "Yes, G.I. Joke?"

"Well, clearly we need someone to hold the map. I would like to elect myself to the position."

Jo barked out a laugh. "Please, you couldn't lead a group of care bears on how to be happy. I'll take the map."

Brick saluted. "As you wish, ma'am."

Jo smirked as she got the map, but Scott grabbed it out of her hands.

"Look, Jo. As the best player to ever be on this show, I'm clearly the most experienced in this. Just give it to me, mmkay?

Jo scoffed. "I would rather die than give it to you, hillbilly."

"Um, did you throw every challenge in the game? I think not! Since I'm the best player ever, I deserve the map!"

"Why, so you can lead us into a ditch?"

Heather sighed. "Look, just let me take it."

"NO!" Everyone except for Alejandro barked.

Heather grumbled and joined into the argument.

"Look, you two losers don't know anything about this island! I do!"

Dawn's eyes widened. "You do? Wow, I can't believe someone else loves this place."

Heather rolled her eyes. "It's only because of the makeup they make. Now, give me the map!"

Scott scoffed. "Not a chance-WOAH!"

For Eva had punched him in the face.

"Look. We have wasted TEN MINUTES ON THIS, and I can see the boats of the other team coming; our advantage is almost over. I'm taking the map, and if any of you have something to say about it, I'll kill you."

Everyone was silent.

"Good." Eva grumbled, and led them throughout the forest.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Eva:** This team is a wreck. I don't tolerate phonies and liars, and I'll set any of these people straight if I have to.

**Jo: **Hmm…this Eva is similar to me. Interesting...

**Brick: **All this conflict makes me feel awful. We shouldn't have conflict; we should be a united troop!

**Heather: **What a surprise, I'm the underdog. But that's okay, I'm used to it. In this game, I always have to fight, and I'm going to do the same here.

**Scott: **Are these idiots for real? Who got Dawn out? ME! I am the best player ever, and these chumps don't know what's what.

**Noah: **"Ooh, this is the season of the Scott, heh heh." What a pathetic moron.

* * *

(**Fans)**

Chris smiled at the camera once again. "Now, we've got the opponents! The fans, who have never been on this show before. This is a brand new experience for them, and they're up against vets! And here they come now."

A very short boy stepped off the boat. He had a grey T-shirt, blue jeans, and long dirty black hair that went down to his shoulders.

"And this is Danza!" Chris announced.

"That's me. So…I'm the first one here, huh?"

Chris nodded.

"Shame…I was looking forward to seeing if there are any cool kids on this cast. Guess I'll have to wait and see."

He then walked over to the edge of the dock.

Chris shrugged. "Next one up is Simone"

A girl with black pigtails and a cheerleader uniform stepped on.

She took a deep breath. "Attention everyone! I am Simone, the hottest bi*** out here! If you want to be safe, align with me!"

Then she noticed the lack of people, and sighed. "…Doesn't really work when there's only one other person here, huh?"

"Afraid so." Chris replied.

She walked to the edge of the dock, and was confronted by Danza.

"Hey, you look cool. Do you need a henchman?"

Simone just stared at him. "Um, I'm not a supervillain, but I'll take a follower."

Danza shrugged. "Works for me."

Chris looked at his cue card. "Oh god…Leslie is up next!"

An African-Canadian girl with a black tank top and blue jeans stomped on.

Chris gulped and looked at her. "How's it going, bra-OOF!"

Leslie kicked him in the…private parts, and then looked at the rest.

"Listen you f***ers, I am Leslie. That is just a small taste of what I'll do to you pieces of shit if you dare cross me…or I'll send my gang after you. Got it?

Simone sighed. "There goes my speech."

Danza got a wild grin on his face.

Then, if through the shadows, a tall Native-American teen with a red and black shirt came on the dock. He then grabbed Chris.

"Chris?"

Chris looked confused. "Yes, Ethan?"

"IS HEATHER ON THIS SEASON? TELL ME!"

Chris nodded.

Ethan gasped in joy. "YES! Now I can accomplish my life's goal; making sure queen heather wins Total Drama, and gets the prize money this time!"

The other 3 all looked at him strangely.

He blushed. "Ahem, pardon me. I just get…excited."

Chris looked peeved, but recovered. "Say a nice welcome to Vanessa!"

A brown haired girl with a green jacket got on the dock, saw the rest of the contestants…and curled up into a ball."

Simone looked confused. "What's wrong with her?"

Chris shrugged. "Said on the app that she's painfully shy."

Leslie rolled her eyes, Ethan looked sympathetic, and Danza chuckled and moved in closer…only to be pushed aside by Simone.

Simone easily picked her up and took her to edge. "Thank me later." She whispered.

Leslie scoffed. "Weakness has no place on this competition. I hope there aren't more wimpy shits."

Danza gave an evil grin. Ethan looked like Christmas had come early. Vanessa curled up even more.

Chris smiled. "Because of budget cuts, the next two are sharing a boat. Here's…Anna and Bishop."

A short girl with a pink sweater and brown pants walked off, with a man with a green suit came off after.

Anna looked around and sniffed. "Hmph, intellectual inferiors. Looks like I'll have to converse with idiots for the summer."

Bishop scoffed. "I have to deal with commoners like you the whole time, I have the tougher deal."

Leslie rolled her eyes. "Great, snobs. Shut up."

Bishop looked at his rolex watch. "I don't care what you think, commoner."

Ethan smiled. "So much negativity in the cast!"

Chris sighed. "The next contestant is Tristan or something."

A boy with brown hair, glasses, and a polo shirt and nice pants came onto the island. He was slightly chubby.

He took a deep breath. "Hello, my name is Tristan. I hope we can all have a pleasant experience on this show."

Bishop nodded. "Someone that might actually be on my level."

Danza snorted. "Hey, look at that nerd." He whispered to Simone.

She rolled her eyes. "You're not much better."

Tristan walked to the end, but almost tripped over Anna and Vanessa.

"Pardon me…wait, why are you on the ground."

Anna shrugged. "That girl over there's nervous, and I just don't want to stand up. Takes too much effort."

Tristan facepalmed.

Chris waved his hands. "The next contestant is Fay. Weird name."

A girl wearing a giant red coat came on next. It was impossible to tell what she looked like because of that coat.

She nodded at Chris. "Sup."

She then walked off and didn't stand near anyone.

Chris shrugged. "Okay… well the final contestant is-OOF, NOT NOW JACKSON!"

Why did Chris scream? Because Jackson didn't come on the boat.

He came on a waterski, that ran right into Chris.

He cheered. "Yeah! That was totally amazing! That's the first time I've used my broken waterskies on a big body of water! So much adrenaline!"

He then did air guitar while hopping up and down to the rest of the cast.

Chris growled. "I'm so hurt I can't even give you guys a speech, but I'll try…I guess."

He then repeated the same things he told the canons.

"Oh, and your name is the blundering beavers. Here's the map."

Leslie grabbed it. "Mine." She said, and then walked off.

Everyone shrugged and followed her.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Danza:** I'm seeing some Type A's here, that's good. I can just leech of them while enjoying how they hurt people. Heh.

**Simone: **Kay…truth is, I'm not that popular at my school despite being a cheerleader. But these guys don't need to know that…

**Leslie: **If anyone messes with me, they die. The end.

**Ethan: **I certainly hope I didn't offend anyone or make them feel odd. My goal is simply not to win, but to give Queen Heather another victory.

**Vanessa: **This is pretty scary…but I'll try. Can't hurt, right?...eep.

**Anna: **My parents say I don't apply myself. I'm here to prove you can win a million without doing anything.

**Bishop:** These people clearly have no class. It's up to a wealthy man like me to teach them class.

**Tristan: **I'm hoping to show I can play the game without becoming a massive evil backstabber. It is possible, you know.

**Fay: **I know I'm kind of secretive, but I just don't want anyone to know my past.

**Jackson: **So many crazy challenges and bad food…this is going to be wicked!

* * *

_A/N: And that's the intro. Hope you got a good sense of the characters, and if you didn't; there will be some more time._


End file.
